The Consent Workshop TCW Chat: Mbali Shongwe

TCW Chat: Mbali Shongwe

In 2019, we started TCW Chat, a series of conversations with various people discussing topics around consent, sexual assault and the intersection of their work and life around these topics. During that time, we had Olutimehin Adegbeye tell us a little about consent in low-income neighbourhoods in Nigeria, Dayo Adedapo told us about toxic masculinity and Jade Bentil told us a little about feminism and the representation of black women in media. We took a break in 2020 due to the coronavirus pandemic and this year, we are back, better and more consistent. Every month, we’ll pick someone and talk about these urgent topics in the hope that one way… Read More

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The Consent Workshop Sleep Was My Escape (TW)

Sleep Was My Escape (TW)

TRIGGER WARNING: SEXUAL ABUSE I was not the perfect victim. I get slut-shamed to this very day, because I was not your good girl with the long skirts. I am constantly told I must have asked for it, that I didn’t fight back enough. I froze. Olohije Oyakhire  They didn’t understand my reaction to this violence. Sexual Violence, a term I have come to prefer saying in place of the four letter word that means I have been tainted. My soul was darkened by that morning and I don’t think I can ever be free. He is coming back. I still see him in my dreams, his tall frame and… Read More

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The Consent Workshop The Genesis and Cycle of Slut Shaming

The Genesis and Cycle of Slut Shaming

Slut Shaming is a vigorous and highly effective tool of Patriarchy and its gatekeepers. It is one of the simplest and commonest ways to force women to shrink themselves, to be less and to restrain them from taking an active role in their sex lives. I remember the first time I was slut-shamed. I was 12, and I’d been a huge tomboy, only concerning myself with anime, football and rap music. Boys never saw me as a girl: I was too boyish, too awkward and too plain to capture the fancy of any boy in a school with a huge disproportionate girl to boy ratio. I was content with my… Read More

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