While we often associate sexual harassment with physical spaces, like parks, schools, malls, offices, etc, there seems to be no limit to where it can occur. With the advent of social media, sexual harassment has embedded itself on the text and visual platforms. Like offline environments, the advances are usually unsolicited and uncollaborative, often leaning into the existing power dynamic between men and women. Nonetheless, we aren’t dismissing how women can also be perpetrators. Emboldened by the option of anonymity, perpetrators can get away without immediate consequences. Inappropriate sexual jokes, sending nude pictures, requesting sexual favours are just some of the examples that can take place. The arrival of Clubhouse… Read More
Continue ReadingTrans Disclosure And Consent: Which Comes First?
The trans identity has generated tensions, more in recent times, around social acceptance, playing sports, serving in the military, accessing bathrooms and healthcare. The dating space isn’t immune to these tensions, also. Dating while trans is a dangerous minefield trans people have been – and are still – navigating. What makes it dangerous is the issue of disclosure, a kind of ethical responsibility put on trans communities to reveal to the other party that they are trans. Not just dating but also casual sex, or whatever frame of engagement is taking place. And in a world where trans people don’t have the luxury of safety, these engagements are usually approached… Read More
Continue ReadingYes, consent applies to asexual people too
Because the language of consent is often deployed to attractions that are precise or popular, we run the risk of excluding others who navigate attraction differently. Asexuality, the sexual orientation that involves little or no sexual attraction, hasn’t much been explored vis-à-vis consent. To some degree, the queer community also fails to recognise asexuals (or aces) and as Pride grinds to a halt, it’s become even more imperative to busts some myths surrounding asexuality and how consent can be applied to their identity. First, I would like to acknowledge that I’m not asexual and don’t speak for the asexual community. I’m only writing from the standpoint of observing boundaries regardless… Read More
Continue ReadingHow the Nigerian Justice System Fails Women
Statistically, one in every four girls in Nigeria have experienced some form of sexual assault by the time they are 18 years of age. Nigerian Society has been so desensitized to hearing stories of rape, that for the most part no one is in shock anymore. Victims have a hard time speaking up for fear of retaliation and shame yet the Nigerian Justice system clearly defines rape as a criminal offence. Enforcers of the law in the form of the police force, maintain a roster of misogynistic officers who not only demand ‘motivation’ to get involved in cases, but they end up compounding cases and doing nothing to alleviate the… Read More
Continue ReadingConsent in Queer Relationships
More often than not, queer people are excluded from a lot of conversations – conversations about relationships, consent and a host of others. For our #21DaysOfConsent campaign, we spoke to some queer people to understand what they thought about queer relationships, rape and sexual abuse, consent and existing in Nigeria generally. We spoke to Desmond who is gay, Temilade who is lesbian, Victor who is gay and Adaeze who is bisexual and here’s what they told us Hey guys! Thanks for being here. What would you say consent is to you? Vincent: Consent to me is when someone enthusiastically agrees to engage in sexual activities without their agreement being forced… Read More
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