Consent shouldn’t be coerced or forced. It should be what you both agree on and what you want to do and not what you think you should do. Nobody, should ever feel that pressured
Franklin Ugobude
The Consent Workshop Social Media Director
Sexual consent may seem easy when people talk about it. Basically, it is actively agreeing to participate in any form of sexual activity. However, in as much as one may think consent is absolutely easy, it is still one of the most difficult things ever – at least that is what the numbers say. According to the Women at Risk International Foundation (WARIF) in 2017, Nigeria records 10,000 cases of rape daily, which when you come to think about it, is heartbreaking and a lot, irrespective of the grand population.
It is because of issues like this that we need to actively learn and relearn all we know about consent. And consent is simple and sexy. It is being on the same page with your sexual partner. What that means is that before you’re sexual with a person, he/she has to know and you need to know if they want to be sexual with you too. If they want to be sexual with you, the conversation then moves to what you both want and you don’t want. And in a case where they don’t want to be sexual with you, that’s the end.
In general, sex has to be consensual before it must happen and both parties have to consent. Consent is
Freely given
In a situation where a partner is coerced into giving consent or tricked or even given alcohol or drugs, it ceases to be consensual and becomes rape and this is wrong. So your partner has to be in his/her right frame of mind when you’re asking them these questions
Reversible
Whenever I think of the reversibility in consent, what comes to mind is Amber Rose talking about it on a talk show. She says “If I’m laying with a man, butt-naked, and his condom is on, and I say, ‘you know what? No. I don’t want to do this. I changed my mind,’ that means no. That means fucking no. That’s it. It doesn’t matter how far I take it or what I have on. When I say no, it means no.
Informed
Consent is informed. This comes in handy especially when partners agree to make use of condoms etc. and along the line, a partner decides to pull out. That is wrong and is rape technically.
Enthusiastic
Consent shouldn’t be coerced or forced. It should be what you both agree on and what you want to do and not what you think you should do. Nobody, should ever feel that pressured
Specific
It is most definitely specific. Consenting to a kiss doesn’t equal consenting to the others and should never mean so. Always ask before any situation. It doesn’t hurt.
Normalizing consent takes away the myth that sex is something you have to convince people to participate in. It allows for healthier and safer sex because it honestly fosters honesty and communication and above all, consent is sexy.